Trouble in Vonipcreed

                                                                            
I do not have a color for the exterior of the house...crap.

I have been through several hundreds of yankee dollares in sample paint and countless trips to Adler's, I know the staff pretty well by now and can identify and name almost all of the C2 colors by sight. I was all set on a green color (Primavera) with a warm grey trim (Titanium) to make it less jumpy and then an accent color of a deep aubergine, (Wicked ) mostly because I liked the name.

Then I had a break up with M. was depressed and didn't go to Adler's for 2 weeks. The paint was coming off the house rapidly, and now the green was too friggin' peppy, too lively and waaay too happy. I just wanted the whole 4800 sq. ft. house to disappear like the balloon boy was supposed to do. Now what?

I drive around Vonipcreed's east and west sides to look at houses...remembering how happy I was as a renter and asking, now why is it good to be a home owner again? I drive around and hate all the house colors I see, hate the ever present cream colored trim, hate everyone that has ever decided on an exterior paint color, basically I've turned into a hater. Bitterella party of one. Stopped being depressed, was now bitter, got a new therapist and decided a soft fawn or Bambi brown would be healing/appealing - bought more samples Rickshaw, Coco Malt and Guava slapped it on remaining unscraped clapboard.

Went to Manhattan, came back and decided it was dull and boring. Friends, family and well paid new therapist didn't really seem like want to talk ext. house color anymore, eyes glazing over when I spoke of feng shui implications wasn't lost on me. Bitterness turning to anger and was sure black n' blue would be an excellent choice, painted Moby Dick, Grand Banks and Slate...not good, too aggressive, goth and somber.

Went back to Adler's tail between legs and they gently encouraged me to take the name of color guy extraodinaire just in case, took the hint and hired the Minister of Paint help me get rid of the black part of blue and choose a deep blue color (Espionage) with a greenish gray trim (Fava) and a bluish green blue (Luna) for the accent. Doors will be a orange/reddish rust (Tiger lily or Cayenne). Yay, mission accomplished. Done!

Go to NYC for the weekend come back happy, look at chosen colors - can't go through with it, too dark, could it be I am lightening up? Put in 2 desperate calls to the Minister of Paint (MOP) no return call yet. Tomorrow they are to begin power washing, Thursday they begin to prime...I am up the proverbial creek, great just great. Temperature is dropping but spirits are high.

I will not paint the house pink, I will not paint the house pink, I will not...